


Feelings Are Not Meant For The Battlefield

by Mosspool13



Series: Leokumi Week [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright Spoilers, Hoshido | Birthright Route, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Nightmares, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:01:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mosspool13/pseuds/Mosspool13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After failing to kill Corrin, Leo finds his allegiances to Nohr becoming jumbled with his want to keep his family safe. He can't fight alongside Corrin, but he can't fight against him either. With Azura's crystal in hand, and a desire to understand Corrin's way of fighting, Leo joins the Hoshidan army neutrally in order to observe them as they travel to Noltradia to approach the Rainbow Sage. </p>
<p>But his presence there is mistrusted by the Hoshidans, especially one Prince Takumi who won't let Leo out of his sight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings Are Not Meant For The Battlefield

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3: Distant/ Insufferable 
> 
> Spoilers for Birthright, Chapter 18 - End

_”Weak! I always knew you were weak, Leo.”_

_Leo shudders, keeping his eyes on an invisible point behind his father’s ear. If he looks directly at Father he knows he’ll fall unwillingly to his knees. He will not show weakness. He can’t show weakness. Or else Father will--!!_

_A flash of magic slices through the earth to Leo’s right and Leo flinches ever so slightly, biting down on his scream when debris collides with his arm. The slick feeling of blood slides warm against his elbow but he doesn’t dare move. Do not show your weakness._

_“You couldn’t kill Corrin, a simple task as that, because of misplaced feeling.” The contempt in Garon’s voice makes his father sound gravelly and Leo does not react to the clatter of Garon’s staff as it smacks the ground. “Perhaps I haven’t taught you well enough. To gouge out that feeling inside of you, maybe we need to revisit our lessons.”_

_Leo is shaking. He can’t control it though he desperately wants to still the tremors rippling through his body. He thought he’d passed all of Father’s tests. He’d done everything right; it was over._

_“It was a mistake to believe you could follow through with this simple task.” Garon hisses. “But no matter. I will just reevaluate your training.”_

_The walls of Castle Krakenburg, the throne room, slide away and Leo finds himself standing in the courtyard of the castle once more. Leo’s muscles tense and he can’t hide the whimper that falls from his mouth._

_“Be silent.” Garon orders. Leo can’t see him because he’s standing behind him. Just like before. Just like those times. “You will be silent. A single noise will be a sign of your incompetence.”_

_“Let’s get rid of those feelings inside of you.”_

_Do not show your weakness. Do not show your weakness. Do not show your weakness._

 

Leo wakes, shivering, muscles taut with tension. His tent is wet from the rain, but Leo knows it’s his dream that has left him shaking and not the reality of the cold and drenched clothes and cot. He sits up, his hair plastered to his forehead with water and sweat and closes his eyes, clearing his mind of any lingering haunts from his slowly fading nightmare. 

Now is not the time to dwell on what might be waiting for him within Castle Krakenburg. 

He’s barely risen from his bedspread when a shape moves outside his tent. Leo watches the shadow with narrowed eyes, hand already reaching for Brynhildr’s spine, just as the figure moves aside the flaps at the entrance and slips inside. Prince Takumi’s hair is soaked from the rain and lying limp against the back of his neck. In its usual ponytail, but his bangs are flopping against his eyes and he brushes them away impatiently. He is scowling and glaring down at Leo, one hand tight on the bow in his hand—his famous Fuujin Yumi—mirroring the way Leo has clasped Brynhildr at his side. 

“Don’t move, Nohrian.” He spits, fingers clenching against the sacred bow. “You’ll do exactly as I say when I say it. And keep your hands where I can see them.” 

Leo wants to scoff, or sneer, growl spitefully that this Hoshidan prince has no idea what he _could_ do with his hands. The hands move faster than the eye, and Leo could send out a blast of his magic so fast Prince Takumi wouldn’t be able to react. But he merely grimaces and rises, raising his hands in front of him as nonthreatening as possible while keeping his fingers tightly coiled around Brynhildr. There is only so much cooperation he can let himself show, and letting go of his only source of protection is not one of them. 

Prince Takumi seems at least somewhat mollified by Leo’s cooperation, even if his scowl deepens and he hisses his disapproval. Perhaps he had wanted Leo to refuse, then he might be justified to shoot Leo with his precious bow. 

“Move.” Takumi growls and Leo walks forwards, keeping his chin high and his movements slow and sure. He will not show weakness. 

_You will be silent. A single noise will be a sign of your incompetence._

He hides his instinctive wince by flexing his fingers against Brynhildr instead. 

Prince Takumi follows Leo closely, close enough that Leo can feel the tip of an arrow pressed against his spine. Leo doesn’t react to this. He doesn’t make a sound, instead he allows Prince Takumi to lead him through the tangle of tents towards what is obviously the war tent, and Prince Ryoma’s personal quarters. 

Leo’s boots squelch in puddles and mud, and he is still soaked, but he makes no move to ask for dry clothes. The murmuring of voices draws his attention only slightly to the sight of bystanders, other Hoshidans, watching Prince Takumi lead Leo through the camp. Leo doesn’t dwell on faces or spend time meeting the eyes of any of the army. He keeps his head facing forwards and his ears open to their ridicule. Though he can’t hear the words they are saying, the hisses and growls of conversation are clear enough that Leo doesn’t need to hear to know. 

When they reach the tent, Corrin appears from within. His usually unruly silver hair is now tangled even further from the rain and muck, and his eyes are wide and bloodshot from lack of sleep. He catches sight of Leo being escorted by Prince Takumi and immediately makes a sound of pain. 

“Takumi! Be more gentle! Leo won’t attack us.” 

“Brother, if you keep thinking like that then you are stupid.” Prince Takumi hisses in answer, pressing the tip of his arrow more threateningly against Leo’s spine. “He attacked us _already_. Just because he’s told us about the Rainbow Sage doesn’t mean he won’t attack us again the next chance he gets.” Leo would scoff, but he understands Prince Takumi’s mistrust. If their roles were reversed—though they wouldn’t be, as Leo wouldn’t have been trusting enough to allow an enemy to stay so close to his soldiers; and though Leo thinks this, he also is glad that Corrin is so trusting, otherwise he would more than likely be alone somewhere, unable to return to Father’s side—he would react in nearly the same manner. More discreetly, mind.

Corrin looks conflicted. He bites his lip and glances at Leo, apology in his eyes. Leo nods to his brother. He knows that Corrin is expected to put his soldiers first and Leo’s comfort second. 

Corrin sighs but then steps forward to pick at the collar of Leo’s shirt. Prince Takumi hisses a warning but Corrin is already too close, and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway how close Corrin was to him since a mage is not encumbered by distance. 

“You’re soaking wet.” Corrin chides. Leo tilts his head back, allowing Corrin to roll the collar of his shirt in his thumb. His other hand presses against Leo’s cheek and Corrin hisses with alarm. “And you’re freezing! Go change and sit by the fire.” Corrin narrows his eyes at Leo as if he can will Leo to follow his instructions. 

“The fire in the center of the camp?” Prince Takumi snarls. “You can’t be serious.” 

Corrin sighs. “Takumi.”

“It’s alright, Corrin.” Leo cuts in, speaking for the first time. He is pleased that his voice is steady when he does. “I was the enemy not too long ago. It would be smarter to keep me somewhere quiet, secluded and guarded.” 

“Surely guarded is a bit much…” 

“It’s less, even,” Leo admits, glancing sideways at Prince Takumi fuming behind him. “It’s fine, Corrin. I expected as much—in fact worse—when I decided to follow your army.” 

Corrin’s brow furrows but then he sighs again and nods reluctantly. “Alright, I’ll have Felicia get you some warm clothes and Joker can guard--”

“No, I will.” Prince Takumi steps in, lips tight and scowling. He glares once at Leo before turning to Corrin defiantly. “You and Ryoma need to focus on the Rainbow Sage and you need every soldier possible for whatever test you encounter. I can watch over the Nohrian scum, it’s--” he hesitates, eyes darkening with something Leo can’t place, and, to Leo’s chagrin, peaks his interest, before continuing, more softly, “it’s something that _I_ can do. To be useful.” 

Corrin’s expression softens and he rests a hand on Prince Takumi’s shoulder, squeezing gently, “Takumi you _are_ useful.” Then he shakes his head. “But if this is what you want I won’t stop you.” Corrin perks up. “In fact, I think this is great! I trust you to take care of Leo, and maybe even you two can become friends.” 

Leo and Prince Takumi speak exactly at the same time. “I’d rather die.” “There’s no way in hell I’d be friends with a Nohrian like him!” 

Corrin laughs, as if they were both joking, and claps his hands together, looking cheered, “Ok! I’ll get Felicia to grab you some clothes.” He presses forwards to rest a familiar grip on Leo’s shoulder. Leo startles, unused to the affection. Though he loves Corrin and Corrin him, they had rarely shared familial hugs or touches outside of training. Leo usually left those things to Camilla and Elise. 

_“Let’s get rid of those feelings inside of you.”_

Leo startles and dislodges Corrin’s hand roughly with a shake of his shoulder. Corrin blinks, surprised, but then smiles to ease it, nodding to Leo and Prince Takumi before disappearing back inside the tent. Prince Takumi steps in front of Leo then, taking Corrin’s place and glares up at him. 

“Turn around, we’re going back to your tent.” He orders and Leo glares back, turning without a word and retracing the path they had walked. 

\-------

When they get back to Leo’s tent, there is a fresh set of clothing lying on Leo’s cot. Leo takes a moment to be impressed with Felicia’s speed at arriving and leaving behind his clothes without making a mess of anything. He is pleased to know that she has seemed to curb her clumsiness since working at the castle. 

Prince Takumi moves to lean against the wall of the tent, his bow still clasped securely in his hand but no longer pointed in Leo’s direction. Leo approaches the cot, picking up what looks like a plain white shirt and thin pants. It appears to be sleepwear but it’s warmer than the clothes he is currently wearing and he will take what he can get. His armor lies against the side of his cot, wet from the rain as well and he knows how heavy it is. He’d rather be comfortable if he is going to be staying in his tent for the time being. 

He glances over his shoulder at Prince Takumi, who is staring at him with narrowed eyes. He glares further when Leo opens his mouth to address him. “I’m going to change.” 

“And?” Prince Takumi bites out, clearly annoyed. Leo sighs.

“I’d rather not be looked at while I am changing.” 

“Deal with it. I’m not taking my eyes off you.” Prince Takumi snarls, folding his arms over his chest. 

Leo frowns, looking down at his hands but figures arguing further will make things worse. He’s miserable enough as it is in his soaked attire, he’d rather just change as fast as possible and then forget Prince Takumi’s existence for a little while. Without saying anything else, he undoes the buttons on his wrists, folding up his sleeves, and then works on unbuttoning the ones of his chest. He slips out of the shirt, feeling suddenly nervous with Prince Takumi’s eyes on him. He ignores Prince Takumi as best he can as he leans over and slips the soft, white shirt over his body. He winces as he starts to undo his trousers, already hoping he can be fast enough that Prince Takumi won’t make any snide comments. 

His pants are off and he is working on pulling up the thin cleaner ones around his ankles when Prince Takumi makes a faint noise. Leo ignores him, but he hears it again when he’s just finished buttoning up his pants. Leo glances up, ready to let loose a sharp admonishment when he realizes Prince Takumi isn’t looking at him. In fact, Prince Takumi’s eyes are closed, his head tipped down so his chin is resting against his chest. The Fuujin Yumi is clasped loosely in his hand, his fingers are light and any small movement might jostle them and let the bow fall from his grasp. 

“He’s asleep?” Leo lets out a huff, amusement and exasperation mingling. _So much for wanting to keep an eye on me._

Leo approaches the sleeping prince, eyeing the wet hair pressed against his neck and the way his straw-colored bangs fall into his eyes. He can see bags under Prince Takumi’s eyes and Leo is struck then suddenly by how pale the other prince looks. He hadn’t noticed, too busy blindsided by Prince Takumi’s hatred against him to take notice more closely of the other’s condition. Leo sits back on his heels, contemplative. He doesn’t pity Prince Takumi, nor does he feel any remorse. If the prince is having trouble sleeping that is his own problem. Leo dwells only briefly on his own sleeping habits, pressing a hand to his forehead to try to block the images of his nightmare from entering his conscious thoughts. He doesn’t need that right now. 

He leaves Prince Takumi to his sleep and instead heads to where he had left his armor. He lifts up his chest plate, reaching down onto the floor and grasping what he’d been looking for. Azura’s crystal. The white-blue orb sits cupped in his palm. He sits down on his cot, eyeing the rounded object. He doesn’t know why Azura thought this artifact might help him come to terms with his indecisions. He knows he doesn’t want to fight his siblings, but he doesn’t want to fight with them either. _If that means fighting Corrin again… I don’t think I can do it._ The dream comes back to him then, a force of terror that at once locks Leo’s muscles tight. He’d been trying not to analyze it too much since he’d woken up, but his mind keeps straying to it. _Better to confront it than to let it fester_ Leo resolves, and his fingers tighten around the orb. 

Father’s voice comes back to him, low and gravelly and dark, brushing against his back as if he were standing in the courtyard again and Father was looming up behind him. _“This is your first lesson, Leo. Do not make a sound.”_

Leo pales at the memory, his shoulders trembling with terror and he wills the shudders away. _Do not show your weakness._ He chides himself. Father’s first lesson and already he was losing himself. 

Leo pulled one hand away from Azura’s orb, letting his fingers curl against his palm and his nail prick at the skin. He tightened his grip, feeling the little pinpricks of pain that helped to ground him. It reminded him that he was here. That what had happened was over with; it was done. 

A soft whimper had Leo raising his head in confusion. That hadn’t been his voice. He glanced over in Prince Takumi’s direction and found the other prince, brow furrowed and mouth parted, making soft keening noises in his sleep. They didn’t sound pleasant. His mouth began to move, as if he were speaking, but Leo couldn’t hear from this distance and he rose to his feet to get a better look. Then, Prince Takumi’s body shuddered once, twice, before he let out a cry and his eyes snapped open, wide, pupils dilated and lips trembling. 

“Are you--?” Prince Takumi’s eyes whipped to Leo and Leo straightened under the furious glare sent his way. Prince Takumi stood up from his slouch against the wall and reasserted his grip on the Fuujin Yumi. He aimed it at Leo as if his falling asleep had to be Leo’s fault. Leo glared back at the shorter prince, finding his patience fraying thin. 

“If you’re so exhausted you can’t even stay awake, why are you volunteering to keep an eye on me?” Leo fisted his hands at his sides. “Your face is pale, and clearly you were having some sort of nightmare.” Leo tipped his chin up, letting some of his familiar haughtiness color his tone, “Is it too much to ask for a _competent_ guard?” 

“I wasn’t sleeping.” He lied, glaring heatedly at Leo. “And I don’t need your sympathy, whatever fake approximation of it that Nohrian scum can come up with.” He sneered. “And you should be grateful that I’m the one looking after you. Anyone else wouldn’t stop to think before putting a sword through your gut. I’m only holding back because I know Corrin wouldn’t forgive me if I did.” Prince Takumi lifted his own chin to meet Leo’s gaze. “And whatever you _think_ you saw is nothing.” He spit. “Go sit in your corner and look at your crystal ball.” 

Leo’s fingers flexed. If he’d had Brynhildr in his hand he might not have been able to stop the heady rush of his magic from flowing from his fingers into the spell book and letting lose a magical burst of energy to uproot the ground from beneath Prince Takumi’s feet. 

But he didn’t have Brynhildr, it was sitting expectantly on Leo’s cot, waiting to be used, Leo could practically feel it buzzing behind him, calling out to his magic. He only had his gaze and his tongue and his body language to show his irritation and defiance. It was his second lesson from his father. _Use any means necessary to get what you want._ And what he wanted was peace, and to be away from Prince Takumi but none of those things would become reality if he didn’t bend a little backwards. Though it left a bad taste in his mouth, Leo relaxed his shoulders and made sure his posture was loose and unobtrusive. He wanted to appear as docile as possible. Especially if he wanted Prince Takumi to agree to his demands. 

“I joined your army to observe you.” Leo began, keeping his expression calm and cool. Prince Takumi paused, wavering with clear distrust at Leo’s sudden lack of confrontation. “My goal is to ascertain whether Corrin’s words and ways are the right way. If I need to be guarded day and night by you to do it, so be it.” Leo paused, letting his words sink in before he continued, “But you can only watch me for so long. You are going to need to trade off with someone else or sleep at some point.”

Prince Takumi glared, “No one else will guard you as befits what you deserve.” 

Leo bit his lip to keep himself from making a sharp comment. Instead he pretended to agree with Prince Takumi and said, “Then you’ll need to find the time to rest.” 

“I don’t need to sleep.” 

Leo rolled his eyes. “Of course you need to sleep. You can barely function as it is right now.” 

Prince Takumi flushed with what, Leo didn’t know. Indignation? Embarrassment? Shame? 

He continued, “You can sleep here when you need to, this way you’ll know if I try to leave. You can even,” and this is where he winced and tried to keep his hands from shaking, “you can even hold on to Brynhildr while you do.” 

Prince Takumi blinked, struck suddenly by Leo’s suggestion. He glanced at the magical tome sitting on Leo’s bed. Leo could feel the hum and buzz that Brynhildr gave off when Leo was separated from it. He ignored his desire to turn around, scoop Brynhildr up to his chest and clutch it hard. 

Prince Takumi lowered his bow. “You would go so far to let me get in a few hours of rest?” 

Leo paused, taken aback himself by the implication, but nodded, although warily. “I suppose, put like that, it sounds strange. But it seemed to be the only option you would agree to.”

Prince Takumi looked at him strangely then. It wasn’t kindness, or relief, not even thankfulness, it was more a pointed look of interest that Leo had himself felt when eyeing Prince Takumi earlier during his conversation with Corrin. It was strange to be on the receiving end of such a look from a Hoshidan. Especially a Hoshidan whose gaze had always held variations of anger, vengeance, or hatred. 

“Fine.” Prince Takumi said, rising to his feet and passing Leo so he could approach Leo’s bed. Leo flinched when Prince Takumi picked up Brynhildr. The sharp buzzing of Brynhildr rose in pitch, as if the tome was screaming against being held by someone other than its master. Leo wanted to wrench it from Prince Takumi’s hands but refrained, gritting his teeth when Prince Takumi studied its cover. Then, he tucked it under Leo’s pillow and flopped down on Leo’s cot. 

Leo recoiled. “What are you doing?” 

“Getting some rest, like you suggested.” Prince Takumi sneered, looking up at Leo from his position upside down on Leo’s bed. “Unless you want to go back on your words?” He challenged. His bangs flopped against Leo’s pillow, making Prince Takumi look boyish and young and Leo blinked at the image, turning his face to the side so he couldn’t get a glimpse of what Prince Takumi might have looked like in another time, another universe, without war. 

“I hadn’t expected you to want to sleep in the bed of a Nohrian.” 

Prince Takumi shrugged, “Techniquely it’s not your bed. We gave this to you, so it’s Hoshidan, and I’d rather lie here than on the ground.” He sneered again. “Unless it’s a problem to have a Hoshidan in your bed?” 

Leo wanted to say that it was a problem to have _Takumi_ in his bed, but he didn’t. Instead he rolled his eyes at took a seat in one of his stools. He fingered Azura’s crystal in his hand. 

Prince Takumi seemed satisfied as he turned away from Leo and closed his eyes. Eventually Prince Takumi settled enough that the soft sounds of his breathing mellowed into sleep, and Leo recognized the snoring he’d heard while he’d been getting dressed earlier. Smiling a little, unable to hide his amusement, Leo rolled Azura’s orb between his palms, wondering what might appear within its depths.


End file.
